Coast & Countryside

'A Nativity Tale (ish)' - by Kevin Ashford

And lo it came to pass that, that one Wise Man (the other two were busy that weekend) crossed the bridge over the river named Severn. After paying out several shekels at the toll, the Wise Man ventured far along the winding carriageway that is known as the M4 motorway and deep into the country known as Wales. And it also came to pass that by a miracle worthy of the Gospels the Wise Man avoided getting caught by Satan's speed cameras near Port Talbot and reached the end of the motorway. Here he turned his eyes to the night sky and saw a bright light shining there. And the Wise Man knew because he heard Aled Jones singing a seasonal tune that this bright light in the north would be his guide to the little town of Bethlehem.

Bethlehem in Wales? I hear you cry. Have I taken leave of my English senses from living in the Principality for too long? Far from it. There is indeed a Bethlehem in God’s own country - in Carmarthenshire to be precise. It might not be quite as famous as the one on the West Bank that gets rather a lot of attention at this time of year but I reckon a visit here is just the way to make an English Christmas rather special this year.

Think about it. You’ll be in some of the finest countryside known to man, you can do Christmas shopping that will make your presents really stand out from the crowd plus you can give your Christmas cards an impressive touch of Biblical authenticity - all without having to hop on a plane to the Middle East. What am I talking about? Well let me explain by returning to my rather dubious version of the Nativity Story.

And lo, the bright light shining in the night sky did verily guide that Wise Man to the north - except the Wise Man's satnav, as can happen from time to time in Wales, took him slightly to the left, to the town of Carmarthen.

Now this was no bad thing. You see our Wise Man was never going to find a room at an inn for his weekend break in the Welsh Bethlehem because, quite simply, there are no inns there. However there are plenty of places to stay in Carmarthen plus the town is simply heavenly for Christmas shopping.

There's been a market in Carmarthen since 1180 - it’s the oldest market in Wales in fact - though you’d never tell that from its latest incarnation. They’ve got a brand new indoor market here and from the outside it makes quite a statement with its exterior of Welsh stone and slate. Inside it’s all light and space - all very unmarketlike - except for the prices. It's all part of turning Carmarthen into something of a Mecca for shoppers - if you’ll forgive the mixing up of religions - because by this time next year there'll be a whole new £74 million shopping centre in the town. Even now though it’s a good place for a Wise Man to start picking up those special Christmas gifts.

If you fancy taking home a taste of Wales you’ll be spoiled for choice in the market with its local meats and cheese with most places happy for you to taste before you buy. Turn the corner and you’ll find a stall selling drawings and paintings of various Welsh scenes - all proof to those receiving your presents that you’ve put the miles in to make their Christmas a merry one. But strolling around, I came across a gift idea that will really impress especially if you’re trying to pull more than a cracker this Yuletide. What better way to a loved one's heart than a Welsh love spoon. Traditionally they're a way of declaring your romantic intentions, that you have a desire to begin courtship. Now that’s pretty smooth as opening gambits go I reckon - much slicker than "Do you come here often?" or "Fancy a bag of chips, luv?" Love spoon are works of art with intricate patterns carved into the wood and even if you’re not trying to lure someone under the mistletoe, love spoons can make a really thoughtful present. These days teenagers give them as symbols of love to parents and relatives or they’re sent to friends who’ve moved overseas to remind them of home.

And lo it came to pass (yet again), that the Wise Man felt suitably smug that he had started his Christmas shopping so early. And it was with a gladdened heart that he rebooted his satnav and decided to follow its bright light on the dashboard instead of the one in the sky to try to find Bethlehem. And truly he was on his way when temptation beckoned at the place named Llandeilo.

Even a Wise Man couldn’t resist an event called 'Festival of the Senses' could he? From 19th to 22nd of November you won't be able to move in the town for tastings and demonstrations - and every shop seems to be offering discounts which makes it the perfect stopping off point on any shopping pilgrimage. There’s even a shop that specialises in all kinds of deliciously wicked chocolates and desserts that’s called Heavenly - now surely that has to be some kind of sign.

While you’re indulging in retail therapy in Llandeilo, you might even come across another Welsh speciality to impress those back home - Welsh gold - or if you like a bit of Bling from the Boyos. Now it’s a long time since they mined gold in Wales but Carmarthenshire has produced more than its share of the stuff in the past. The Dolaucothi gold mines near Pumsaint were busiest in Roman times. These days Welsh gold is rare and often mixed with other bullion. That rarity makes it pricey so anyone getting it for Christmas would have to be pretty special - though they would be in some very good company - most of the Royal Family seem to have some Welsh gold on their fingers.

And lo it came to pass (how many more times?) that our Wise Man left Llandeilo considerably poorer but still with a little money to spend. And there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth as the Wise Man found that his satnav took him on another diversion. And so it was that the Wise Man found himself driving through the gates of the National Wool Museum at Dre-Fach Felindre.

Now a lot of my English friends find the idea of a Wool Museum worthy of a snigger - I think because it fits in with so many of the stereotypes they like to perpetuate about the Welsh - especially the ones involving sheep. A visit here though I think would shatter all those myths. The wool industry is a huge part of Welsh history and the museum tells that story in a really interesting, hands-on way. What’s more, you can buy Welsh quilts here. Now defining what qualifies a quilt to be called a Welsh quilt isn’t that easy. Making them has been a tradition in Wales for well over two centuries. My favourites are the ones that use striking geometric patterns. They’re really quite funky-looking and would satisfy the trendiest present receiver.

And yea, the heavenly sky darkened and the Wise Man realised his satnav was verily useless and so it was that he decided instead to follow the star in the north. And lo it came to pass (for the last time) that the Wise Man finally came upon the little town of Bethlehem and vowed in language that was less than holy, that he would never use his satnav again.

Now I have to warn you, there’s not much to Bethlehem in Carmarthenshire. It is in a beautiful rural location but the name is about the only thing it has in common with its more famous counterpart to the East.

I don’t know if shepherds round here tend their flocks by night (most of the sheep are indoors at this time of the year anyway). As for virgin births, well it’s not easy to find out how prevalent they are. I mean it’s not really something you can bring up in a casual conversation with a stranger, is it? What they do have in Bethlehem though is a post office and at this time of the year you can post your Christmas cards and get a 'Bethlehem' post mark which I reckon will just about round off the perfect Yuletide preparations. Happy Christmas or as they say in these parts, Nadolig Llawen!

Kevin Ashford has more than twenty years experience as a journalist in newspapers, radio and TV, see kevin reading the news on HTV Wales.

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